Big D

Big D

Friday, December 03, 2004

Zach and Cuyler acting like a married Couple

I will stay out of the catfight between these two, and cover some stuff I've been pondering this past week:

1) Steroids -- Enough with the steroids outrage. Anyone with half a brain has known for years many baseball players use steroids. When great ballplayers (Bonds / Sosa as an example) go from 30 homerun/30 stolen base guys to 66 home runs and 73 !!!!! home runs respectively in the span of a few years, red flags obviously need to be raised. You'd have a better chance finding WMDs in Iraq then convincing someone that steroids aren't being used in baseball. Bonds and Sosa's heads are the size of coconuts. Canseco and Caminiti (and now Giambi) have publicly admitted to using steroids during their MVP seasons.

The question isn't whether guys are using steroids, but how many are using the juice? So these guys inject steroids/HGH/testesterone into their body, so what? Of course, testing would curtail some of the widespread use of these substances like any other major sports regulatory body all over the world already does. The reason testing is already not in place. You guessed it. The beloved MLB ayers union. Their leader, Donald Fehr (who is more evel than even Donald Rumsfeld) refuses to budge on steroid testing. But alas, the MLB players union doesn't budge on anything. This steroids issue is just yet another example of ESPN policing the hand that feeds it. We all know ESPN is one of the main culprits when it comes to glamorizing the long ball, and now all of sudden they lead the "outrage" over players enhancing their ability to hit the long ball. The hypocrisy in this country is mind boggling.

2) BCS -- The Texas fans have lost it. Threatening (both verbally and physically) AP voters, writing nasty emails to any talking head (herbstreit, Albersts, May, etc.) who says anything lhe least bit negative about Texas deserving to be in the BCS. Here's the deal. Texas and Cal both deserve to be in the BCS. Assuming nothing crazy happens this weekend, Cal or Texas is going to be left out. Is that fair? Of course not. This systems sucks, and the problems will persist until an 4 or 8 team playoff is put into place. If the decision makers (ADs, school presidents, Bowls, networks) are judged based on their past history, we should have a playoff somewhere around the year 2050. Maybe Mack Brown will have a conference title by then. Hey mack, figure out how to BEAT OU and then all your problems will be solved.

3) Ricky -- Let's just let Ricky be Ricky. No need to bag on the guy. We all have known he beats to a different drum for years now. Just remember all the great memories he provided during the years he did play and move on. I had the luxury of being in school during his Junior and Senior seasons. I remember the unbelievable season he had in '97 despite zero talent around him. What Texas fan will ever forget the '98 thansgiving game against A&M in Mack's first season (on a side note - the coach at UT ages about as quick as the president of the US in office - just compare mack '98 to mack '04) ? Ricky's run to the record book (F Ron Dayne) with a national tv audience watching and dorsett on hand to witness it. So many others: wearing #37 against OU, his dominant bowl performance against miss st., ending nebraska's 47 game home winning streak in lincoln. Sure, Ricky would have finished with unbelievable numbers in the pros (maybe even a hall of famer). Let's not forget Earl Campbell's possible influence on his decision to get out of the game. Earl can barely walk anymore, and Ricky was always conscious of how much a beating you take as a running back in the NFL. I'm not trying to make excuses, just trying to let Ricky be Ricky.

4) Championship weekend - Quick predictions (for recreational purposes only of course) for this weekend's games.

VA - Tech (+7) @ Miami - Va tech is not in awe of Miami like many other teams. While Miami has been improving and their team is finally healthy (ryan moore, moss, etc.), these two teams are very equal in terms of talent. Despite the game being played in the orange bowl, I'll take V-tech plus the points. Miami 21 Va Tech 17.

USC (-23) @ UCLA - This game is being played in the Rose Bowl, but imagine the crowd will have a fairly sizable SC contigent. This SC team is peaking at the right time, and their offense received an added boost (not that they needed it) when Steve Smith came back from his broken leg. They have had 1 close call all year, and I don't see how UCLA will be able to hang with this SC juggernaut. Keep in mind UCLA last played a game NOvember 13!!!! USC 48 UCLA 17

Big 12 Championship
Colorado (+23) vs. Oklahoma - Call me crazy, but I think Colorado plays OU tough. Colorado really has nothing to lose, and Oklahoma has everything to lose. Don't think OU players won't have last year's K-st. debacle in the back of their minds. I know Joel Klatt is no heisman candidate, but he is a darn good QB. Colorado has a decided edge in the kicking game (their kicker has serious range and Dicarlo is a stiff). Now OU should torch Colorado's secondary, but I think Colorado will put some points on the board. I don't have the guts to predict a colorado win but i think this game will be close in the 4th quarter. OU 34 Colorado 21.

SEC Championship
Auburn (-14) vs. Tennessee - This Tennesee team is doing it with smoke and mirrors, and Auburn is playing the best football outside of Southern California right now. Unless Phillip Fulmer has one more trick up his sleave, i don't see any way Tennesee will be able to keep up with Jason Campbell, Cadillac, Ronnie Brown, and co. Auburn rolls big time in this game. Auburn 41 Tennesee 14.

Cal (-24) vs. Southern Miss - I wish like hell southern miss was a better team this season. But they aren't. Maybe with the stars aligning, Southern miss could pull off the monumental upset. I just don't see it. Cal is top 5 in the nation in both total offense and defense. They should win this one easily. Cal 34 Southern Miss 13.


Thursday, December 02, 2004

The Other Side of the Circle

I have decided to rebut all of JC’s remarks in his most recent post. I am doing this because it is easy and I am too lazy to come up with my own topics. I have also decided to not use the “Speaking of…” phraseology that JC used in his “Running in Circles” post to be more reader friendly.

1.Gary Barnett is a deserving winner of the Big 12 Coach of the Year Award. This award doesn’t go to the coach with the best team or record, the voters obviously look at surrounding circumstances when allocating their votes. Barnett and his team went through hell this summer and still managed to get to the Big 12 Championship game. The Buffs not only had to deal with the recruiting and rape scandals, but they also had to deal with losing their most explosive player, Jeremy Bloom. They also battled to get to the Big 12 Championship game by winning 3 straight games to earn the right to play in that game (interestingly, they were underdogs in all 3 and won all 3 outright). Essentially Barnett took the Buffs program from what could have been a disastrous season and turned them into winners with something to build on. Even though Bob Stoops coached in one of the toughest divisions in football, he also had one the best team in college football. A slightly retarded person, or even Mack Brown, could have coached this team to a Big 12 South Title. It is impressive what Stoops has accomplished this season by keeping his team focused and not slipping up all season. However, it isn’t very hard to motivate players when they know that every game has national championship implications. It is more impressive to see a coach motivate players that have nothing to play for week in and week out and inspiring them to be better than they are.

2. It’s not that the 4 best players in the country are on two teams, the 4 best players are on two of the best teams. This is not a coincidence. Usually the best players are on the best teams. And yes, JC is bitter.

3. Carson Palmer is essentially a rookie this year and will go through growing pains like any rookie quarterback. Remember Rothlispuekenburger is an exception to the rule, not the standard by which we grade rookie quarterbacks. Plus, the Heisman isn’t supposed to go to the guy with the most pro potential or the guy who is going to pan out the best in the pros. Also, you don’t need a “big arm” to be successful in the NFL, you just have to make all the throws (ie, Chad Pennington).

4. Wait a second…there are coaching vacancies at the end of the football season? That’s weird. And on that note, JC’s thoughts on the coaching landscape have been duly noted for the record.

5. If you’re Mormon, Utah is the Mecca of college football. However, Meyer would have left all the same even if ND wasn’t knocking down his door.

6. To answer the philosophical question, yes…..the Fiesta Bowl sponsors will make a sound and hopefully the threat of taking their money away from the BCS will force the BCS to make changes to the current system. Because we all know that money makes the world go round, at least the college football world.

7. The idea of a combination of Utah, Tennessee and Pittsburgh being in the BCS pales in comparison to the fact that once again the BCS has failed to produce a true national championship game and is a much bigger “scandal”.


Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Running in Circles

Running in Circles

In some places, a .500 conference record, without beating any of the top teams in the conference will get your fired. In the Big 12, it gets you the Coach of the Year. I guess going undefeated in the toughest division in the country is not enough to get the nod from the media. Nor is turning a sub .500 team last year into a bowl team this year. Nope, apparently all you have to do is back your way into the Big 12 title game by winning a division where Iowa State controlled its own destiny.

Speaking of the Big 12, Oklahoma is boasting 2 of the 4 Heisman favorites, and USC is boasting the other two (according to ESPN). So let me get this straight, the four best players in the country are on two teams? Out of all 117 teams and its 6000 + players, the four best players are on two teams? Does it not dawn on anyone that these players statuses may be slightly inflated because of the other players on their teams. Two players from the same team have been finalists for the award 2 times in the last 30 years, now you want me to believe that there are not 3 guys that can compete with these four unreal players? Not that I find Matt Lienart an undeserving candidate, but my grandma could throw it to those receivers, including Reggie Bush, and rack up 30 TD’s. And nevermind that Adrian Peterson is running behind the nations best offensive line, one that will likely produce 3 early round draft picks, along with playing beside last years Heisman winner, and a top 3 receiving core in the country, nevermind that fact. Are the people that vote for these things actually watching the games, or just reading Dennis Dodds lastest piece of drivel? And no, I’m not bitter, just sad about the fact that the most prestigious award in college football is a joke.

Speaking of the Heisman being a joke, Carson Palmer throws a terrible football. This guy is going to be out of the NFL in 3 years. He’s just not very good, and his arm is not very big. Yet, he still managed to get Butch Davis run out of town.

Speaking of coaching vacancies, there seem to be quite a few right now. 3 and out for Willingham and ND, he didn’t even have time to bring in his own guys. Ron Zook out when next year looks to be his best team? Florida may learn from the Bill Callahan experiment and have a terrible year next year. Obviously the name of the game is win now. Just for the record I think the coaching landscape will shake up like this: Willingham to Washington, Jeff Tedford to Florida, Nick Saban to the Dolphins, Butch Davis to LSU, and Urban Myer to ND.

Speaking of Urban Myer, I heard an interview with the coach yesterday where he adamantly stated his affection for the Great Salt Lake. Ladies, I just spent 2 months in Utah, while aesthetically pleasing, it is not a Mecca of college football. That guy is as good as gone.

Speaking of the Utah, here is a philosophical question: If two shitty teams play a BCS bowl in the middle of the desert, and no one is there to see it, will Fiesta Bowl sponsors make a sound?

Speaking of The Bowl Championship Series, could this thing be any more screwed up. Somehow its possible that Colorado, Pitt, Utah, and Tennessee stand a chance to get to a BCS game and all of its benefits for doing all of nothing in the regular season. And spare me on Utah, good for them, they did what they needed to do, they did everything asked of them, and quite frankly they deserve a shot. However, if you think they would have gone undefeated in any of the major conferences, you are kidding yourself. Pac 10, Big 12, ACC, SEC…at least 2 losses. They may have been able to run the table in the Big Least, but I’m pretty sure a couple of high school teams would compete in that league. This years BCS is nothing short of a scandal.

Speaking of scandals, your Big 12 Coach of the Year…..Gary Barnett.


Monday, November 29, 2004

Stuff I Need to Get Off My Chest

1) Does anyone else besides me go into convulsions anytime Stuart Scott appears on Sportscenter? This guy's schtick is more played out than Gallagher circa "the smashing watermalons" era.

2) While we are on the topic of "Stu" Scott, it's really close right now between him and Karl Rove as to which one I'd rather force clockwork orange style to watch Dr. Phil/Real World-Road Rules Challenge/The view reruns on a continuous loop.

3) Scott Van Pelt is easily the best thing going on ESPN these days and that includes Barry Pepper's role as Dale in the ESPN original movie "3". And Yes I still think that Pepper is a good actor (61*, 25th Hour--my personal fave, and Saving Private Ryan). Although I don't think there is any way Pepper will look back in 5 years and think this was a good move career wise.

4) More inept: Big 12 North or NBA's Atlantic divison? I give the nod to the NBA's Atlantic divison. Call me crazy, but I think at least Colorado has a puncher's chance against Oklahoma. The teams in the Atlantic could quit today and nobody would notice (even Spike Lee with his beloved Knikcs)

5) Heather Mitts or Elisabeth Hasselback (pre-pregnancy)? Because it's such a close call, I will go by their significant other's QB talent. Let's throw Tim out because we all know Elisabeth married the lesser talented and just as bald Hasselback brother. That fact combined with Matt having the Seahawks in the tank and I think you have to give the edge to Mitts. At least AJ Feely can blame the dolphins suckitude on that pothead Ricky.

6) I haven't been this fired up about a college hoops season since the mid 90s when KG and his successors changed the sport forever. Five teams to watch this season:

1 -- Texas (hey I can be a homer every once in a while) - Memo to NCAA - quit being stupid and let Mike Williams play.

2 -- Washington - Anyone who doesn't know about Nate Robinson yet needs to turn on fox sports net more often and catch some Pac 10 basketball.

3 -- Meeechigan - Came back down to earth against Arizona, but it always good for college basketball when they are playing well.

4 -- NC St. - While they did take some serious personell hits in the offseason (marcus melvin), they haven't missed a beat so far. Julius Hodge is a player (even though he cost me good money during the NCAAs last season), and they are definitely the dark horse in the absolutely loaded ACC. I just love their Euro connection of Atsur and Evtimov.

5 -- Notre Dame - Great backcourt led by Chris Thomas and Chris Quinn (who looks like he belongs at the YMCA gym). Plus, I think Mike Brey can flat out coach.

7) Getting back to the topc of hot girlfriends/wives of star athlets, how hot is Carl Pavano's stock on fantasy draft boards right now regardless of who he signs with this offseason. Perusing my girlfriend's US weekly, (I swear I haven't bought her a subscription......... yet) Barry Zito has been romantically linked to Pavano's ex, Alyssa Milano. Now I don't know about you, but I'd be a tad bit upset right now If I'm Pavano. I mean, doesn't Tony Danza's sweet tv daughter realize Mulder and Hudson had better years than Zito. I got to admit though i'm a Zito fan as long as he's not playing the rangers. I will say that it's either Cy Young or a Marc Fydrich like meltdown for Zito this season. No middle ground.

8) No more Pistons/Pacers jokes anymore Jay Leno. Please!!!!! I'm begging you. Did I just admit to watching Jay Leno?

Until next time...........


Monday, November 22, 2004

Is He Crazy Like It Says On His Bracelet?

What happened in the Pacers vs. Pistons game on Friday night was one of the most bizarre, crazy, and disturbing incidents of recent memory in sports, everyone is to blame and everyone is culpable, most notably Ron Artest.

Ron Artest is probably the craziest person in sports today. Artest is not Ricky Williams crazy, but more Mike Tyson crazy. He turned a routine shoving match in the NBA into the Vibe Awards. I don’t think it is that out of the question that before Artest returns to playing in the NBA that we could see him fight in Wrestlemania, tattoo his face, and begin to worship Allah.

Everyone has that one friend that they know isn’t right. They have a screw loose that makes them do things that normal people just don’t do. These things aren’t a result of drinking or drug use, which leads normal people to do crazy things, but they are a result of that person being crazy. We hang out with these people in high school or college just for the reason that we wanted to see what they would do next and also to get a basic understanding of how crazy minds work. These people rarely become our best friends or people that we keep in touch with. We usually reach a breaking point with these crazy people because hanging out with them is just too much work. They are always starting fights, jumping out of moving cars, and yelling at bartenders and bouncers. We will stop hanging out with these people for a little while to see if they will stop being so crazy, but they never stop being crazy. We end up seeing these people after a while where they tell us stories like, “A guy bet me $50 that I couldn’t live in a tent in my backyard for a week, easiest $50 I’ve ever made!” True Story. That’s where we reach a point where we don’t want to ask “why?” anymore, we just shake our head go on with our way.

Up until Friday night, fans and the league watched Artest, not for his talent, but because we all wanted to see what he would do next. The initial foul by Artest on Ben Wallace just seemed like a normal Ron Artest moment, a hard foul fueled by frustration. What happened in the aftermath of this foul could be the breaking point for the NBA and their relationship with Ron Artest because hanging around him has just become too much work. They have already suspended him and fined him time and time again to see if he'll stop being crazy, but crazy people never stop being crazy. Now the NBA doesn’t want to ask Artest “why” he ran into the crowd and started a mini-riot, they would rather just shake their head and go on their way.


Thursday, November 18, 2004

SEC's at it again

Am I the only one that is tired of hearing about what Spurrier is going to do? Maybe it is because I live in the heart of the SEC conference, but honestly - who cares. I just read an article that Spurrier has decided to coach with Gamecocks and has pulled his name out of the running for Florida. Umm, there is just one problem, Lou Holtz hasn't officially retired. Sure, he says he's tired and all, but that doesn't mean he's done after only 7 seasons. Apparently, Holtz is not worried about Spurrierknocking down his door because they are good friends...why do I need to hear that they are good friends and Spurrier helped Hotlz's wife find a cancer doctor and Spurrier's wife went to see her in the hospital and blah, blah, blah? Doesn't he realize this man wants his job? I feel like I am taking crazy pills living down here. Does anyone understand my pain? Does anyone care? Just hire a coach and lets play ball, I don't need to hear all this superfluous crap.

And if I hear one more thing about Tenessee tattling to the NCAA, I might pull my hair out. Do people even realize they are Homer's? My guess is no. After reading Zach's wonderful diatribe on the Homer Syndrome, I laughed so hard I almost cried. You just explained the Alabama fan to a tee. AHH, but there are Homer's everywhere. I am sure if I went back to NE to see some friends I would hear how NE deserves a BCS bid. Well..maybe I would hear that Callahan sucks and how much better THEY could do coaching this team. I mean, it's not everyday that A&M beats you by 700 points...


Wednesday, November 17, 2004

The Homer Syndrome

Recently I was bashed on an email list of Texas graduates for questioning whether the Texas Longhorns deserved to be in a BCS bowl this year. I felt as an objective fan of college football that if Utah defeats BYU this weekend that they deserve one of the at large bids into the BCS over a Texas team that needed all 60 minutes of their game to come back and beat a below .500 Kansas team. I feel vindicated that I am not alone in thinking this way. This is the exact scenario that the BCS contemplated when they adjusted the BCS formula to allow a school that is a part of a non-BCS conference to automatically qualify for a BCS bowl if it is in the top 6 of the BCS poll.

But this explanation fell onto def ears. I forgot that my audience was a group of “homers.” In The Simpson’s, a “homer” is described as a noun to describe an “American bonehead.” I can think of no better definition for fans of teams that believe that their team has some sort of entitlement despite lacking accomplishment.

This “Homer Syndrome” has become a chronic problem across the country. “Homers” have made it increasingly painful for unbiased, objective fans of sport to attend sporting events, watch games at bars, or watch games with large groups of fans.

Typical “homers” include people that paint any part of their bodies, people that shave their body hair in the shape of their teams symbol, people that co-ordinate their shirts to spell something out, the people they interview outside the stadium and say things like, “We’re going to beat them REAL bad, WHOOOOO-WHOOOOO!” and anyone from Texas A&M. These are the people that make me cringe even when I am comfortably sitting at home simply watching them on TV. “Homers” can also appear in the form of regular fans. These are the “homers” that are most dangerous and annoying. They look like they can be reasoned with and see the “big picture” of the entire sport, but their looks are deceiving. They are the most unreasonable people of the whole lot and have a stronger belief in their entitlement than anyone else.

However, the real problem with “homers” is that they don’t listen to reason. No matter how many logical arguments you make to them about how their team is not in contention for the championship, they will respond with a laundry list of “what ifs” and inconsequential stats. They only read articles that pertain to their team and don’t realize that the majority of the country doesn’t care about what happens to their team. The way “homers” think is eerily similar to how people believe in religion. They don’t need facts or reason to explain what they believe, they just believe.

I understand that this problem will never go away and these people will probably only get worse as time goes on, but one can dream for a better tomorrow without the “Homer Syndrome.”


This isn't Russia is it?

I am irritated. If you saw the Monday night pregame exchange between Nicolette Sherridan and Terrell Owens, you are too. This is too much, at some point the American public needs to set some boundries about what is allowed on TV. And the ineuendos that were presented there were beyond ludicrous. Worse than the time Michael Jackson exposed his breast at the Superbowl. Worse than the time that old lady's bathing suit fell off at the Waterworld. That's right, I'm appalled. I was going to tell my kids, Sally and Joe, about the facts of life, but ABC had to go and ruin it for me. Now I don't even know if I want kids.

To think, that America is supposed to believe, and this is almost laughable, that a woman would sleep with a man just because he was a famous athlete. It's just ridiculous. When is America going to wise up and get with the program. Women are not money hungry, raving lunitics. They do things with a level head and without an ounce of emotion. What, are we supposed to believe that women throw themselves on world class athletes, like Shawn Kemp, just becuase they are athletically and monetarily gifted? Come on. Women are not motivated this way, next week they are going to try and tell us that Nicollette and Terrell did in fact sleep together, and that she made a false rape claim to try and weasel him out of some money. What is this a soap opera? Even implying that women are fixated on riches and material things is painfully wrong, and I am upset with ABC that they would make that ineundo on National Television.

Now that's satire.

On to more important things, and as I do not want the relentless Z on my case, I will now adjust my thoughts in a more suitable, copyright friendly form.

! Lebron became a daddy recently and said "I'm excited about it" "It's a wonderful opportunity in life". What he meant was "Damn."

@ Snoop Dogg showed up at the USC practice the other day, apparently dropping balls like they were hot. I think that he thinks that we think he is just joking around, but you know hes actually trying out for these teams. The real question is, does Snoop have any eligibility left, he has worked hard for his Playa Haytin Degree. Seriously though, I would like to be Snoop Dogg for just one day, it would be incredibly interesting. You could show up at any practice facility you wanted, waste a teams day of valuable practice time, and give autographs to some of today's best athletes. Everytime you opened your mouth someone would get stabbed, you could be high all day and everyone would worship you for it, it would be a hell of a day.

# Speaking of stabbings, that was not the biggest tragedy at the Vibe awards that aired last night. Apparently you can give out an award for just about anything these days. I can't even do justice to the catagories, you will just have to see for yourself: Best Stabbing at this award show

$ I like Tiger, I really do, but his latest rant about Mark O'Meara not being the Ryder Cup capitan is further proof that he does not understand what the Ryder Cup is all about. Tom Lehman is the kind of Capitan that will do anything to win the Ryder Cup. Treats it as the most important event of the golf year, which it should be. Maybe Tiger can learn a lesson from Tom about leading this team to victory. Or maybe he doesnt care because he is rich, famous, has a really hot wife, and plays golf for a living. Nevermind, I really don't like Tiger.

% And finally, I would be remissed if I did not adress this, but Bob Stoops is apparently proposing that ESPN is somehow campaigning for his team not to make the title game in favor of Auburn. Can someone tell Bob that ESPN and ABC are owned by Disney, and he needs to direct his attention elsewhere. Because apparently despite all of that Two toothed Goofy bastards pleas, Micky Mouse apparently has it out for the Sooners. I hate Bob Stoops, and I hope he dies of Gonherria and rots in hell.


Words of wisdom from LH

I cannot believe I am going to join the conversation, but Tonis has graciously invited me to share my thoughts. Since I am stuck in AL earning my doctorate at the one and only Sport Academy, I feel I have earned the right to share my thoughts on sports. Now, I will admit I am not as knowledgeable as you boys when it comes to this topic, but I can hang a little.

1. TO seems to be a god down here in AL. I believe the hillbillies have had too much of their own moonshine.
2. John Madden also makes me laugh, so much I turn the channel to watch CSI: Miami
3. The BCS needs some work, I agree. However, college football as we know it will never go to a playoff postseason because there is just too much money to be made with the bowls. So, quit b#%ching about it at appreciate that there will be repeats like the 97 (?-forgive me if I am wrong) season when #3 Kansas State did not receive a bid and played in the Toilet Bowl. I am looking forward to next year when they go to a 5 game BCS Championship, we should see some interesting match-ups with the 'little guys' getting fair chance to play- Go UTAH!
4. There's no hockey on? Wow, I didn't notice.
5. I don't care about the Nuggets, who is this Melo you speak of?
6. Friday Night Lights ranks up there with Varsity Blues and Blue Crush...good stuff.
7. Did anyone watch the AMAs on Sunday Night? The crowd booing Kobe was classic, he looked as if he would cry. I won't get on my soapbox regarding Kobe's 'alleged' raping incident, I only will say that our justice system is messed up if he is a free man. Reminds me of the time OJ, Jayson Williams and Ray Lewis were found guilty of murder...oh wait, that's right, they got off. Stupid sport celebrities. How is it ok to break the law and then drop or dismiss the charges because it might RUIN their career and livelihood? I don't think Ted Bundy got that same respect when HE was caught...OK, I'll stop.
8. I LOVE soccer. This is the sport where they start in a scrum and play with an odd-shaped ball, right?
9. Speaking of Rugby, would any of you believe that I used to play in college? Even at 95 pounds, I could do some SERIOUS damage...good times.
10. Barry Bonds sucks and he should be permanently removed from baseball along with his records. Am I the only one that has noticed his HEAD is 3 inches BIGGER and he has gained an amazing 30 pounds of muscle AFTER the age of 30? No one else thinks this is wrong? What is wrong with you people, have you no morals?
11. White winning twice can be no worse than Eric Crouch winning it once and then ruining his career by becoming a sport announcer in Lincoln.
12. JC in Utah can be no worse than me in AL.

Afterthought: I think there would be hardly ANY conflicts if everyone's semi-automatic guns were taken away. Have the politicol leaders of these countries even thought about this? If we take all the guns away, no one can shoot them at others OR into the air and injure themselves. Why has this approach not been taken? Just round up all the guns and put them under lock and key. Yes, they may go buy more, but at least children won't have them in their hands. It will be just like inner city CA is right now...and that's not too bad :)

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

And I thought ESports was host to incoherent ramblings...

I hate to interrupt the thing,
that Z was saying about him and JC...

Gentlemen, as the only B-list internet celebrity scribe on this blog, and, more importantly, as the only strong male authority figure in both of your lives, it's time I assume my rightful position as imparter of wisdom. Here are some thoughts, some in response to earlier posts, some Nitti originals... Enjoy.

(By the way, I see that you have both ignored the "patent pending" status of my numerical-format sports column. I would say that you will be hearing from my attorney, but it happens to be Z, so I guess I'm screwed.)

12. There is no good reason -- not even merely for the contrarian joy in it-- to "like" TO. This is a guy who should, by all rights, be stuck in San Fran. catching passes from Tim Rattay and plotting the death of his agent, Mike Danton style. Instead, he cried, threatened legal action, held two organizations hostage, and managed to fit in an ill-conceived Rosa Parks comparison before orchestrating his arrival in Philadelphia, the only team he wanted to play for. It's criminal. The only joy I take from the whole ugly situation is the knowledge that while this Eagles team may be 8-1, they are doomed to once again collapse in January. People like to say that you have to do two things to win it all: Run the ball and stop the run. In this day and age, with the proliferation of the West-Coast offense's short passing game, I believe only the latter is true. New England in '03 and '01. Tampa Bay in '02. Baltimore in '00. Other than the Jamal Lewis led Ravens, none of the three had a dominant running game, but they were each the best in the league at stopping the run and forcing third and long. Which brings me to Philly: this team can't stop ANYONE on the ground. Hell, they let a 300 pound Jerome Bettis run for 150 yards, and a decrepit Eddie George run for his longest touchdown since he was getting fat off booster money at Ohio State. William Green and Lee Suggs ran up and down the field on them in a narrow victory over the Browns. You can't get away with that in December and January, and this team won't.

11. Has anyone ever noticed how much Jay Bilas looks like Gob from Arrested Development?

10. Nobody ever said this blog was sports only, and I know you guys are worldly fellows, so here goes: Those Palestinian dudes...they may not have a state to call their own, but there's certainly no shortage of automatic weapons, is there? Do they sell 'em in 7-11's over there? I always thought the Isrealis ran a tight ship in the West Bank, but apparently it's OK for every male over the age of 9 to pack an arsenal that would make Steve McNair jealous. I swear every person I saw in that Arafat video on CNN was firing a machine gun into the air, which begs another question: Where the hell do all those bullets go? They have to go somewhere, right? Anyone?

9. There are two problems inherent in Cuyler's "Friday Night Lights" diatribe. First of all, as Z pointed out, it's EASY to name a multitude of sports movies that rank well ahead. Hoosiers...Bull Durham...Rocky I and IV...Caddyshack...Major League..Mean Machine...Hoop Dreams...Raging Bull...The Natural...Victory, and so on. Second, and far more infuriating, is Cuyler's insistence that "Great White Hype" was not a top notch film. It had Jeff Goldblum! AND Jon Luvitz! Throw in Cheech Marin, Samuel Jackson, Jamie Foxx, and that Wayans brother that has finally achieved mainstream acceptance, and you've got yourself two hours of great watching.

8. As Dallas Cowboys fans, I'm sure you two can appreciate this... Lost amongst all the Alge Crumpler, Antonio Gates love has been the emergence of Jason Witten as one of the league's top tightends. You know the dude must be good, because this team has no other offensive threats, yet he always gets open. I'll tell you this this very moment he is already better than Jeremy Shockey.

7. Look, it's great that Peyton Manning is on pace to shatter Dan Marino's TD record, but come on... On Sunday, I watched him throw a TD on 1st and Goal from the 1 while up 21-0, then tack on another when it was 35-7. Similar theme all year. It's like he's drunk with Fantasy Football power.

6. Now that Willie Randolph has a job managing the Mets, who assumes the mantle of "token black interview candidate?" My money is on Terry Pendleton. He'll be helping teams meet the minority interview minimum requirements for the next decade or so.

5. Bottom Line: Larry Brown broke Melo's mind. Shattered him. It should be a great race to see who finishes with the lower shooter percentage, Melo or Kobe.

4. Here's one you may not have thought of. Sure Timmy Chang just broke Ty Detmer's career passing record of 15,031 yards, but within the Chang era at Hawaii came the greatest three-game statistical stretch by a QB I have ever witnessed, and it wasn't even authored by Timmy Chang. When he was injured at the end of the 2001 season, Nick Rolovich took over starting duties. Here are his stats for the final three games of the regular season:

#3: Hawaii 52 - Miami OH 51 30-53, 500 yards, 7 TDs. (side note: Ashley Lelie caught 6 balls for 211 yards and 3 TD's, and some guy named Roethlisberger went 40-53 for 452 yrds and 4 TDs.)

#2: Hawaii 52 - Air Force 30 30-46, 505 yards, 5 TDs. (side note: Lelie caught 9 more for 285 and 3 TDs...meanwhile, Air Force rushed for 547 yards)

#1: Hawaii 72 - BYU 45 29-52, 543 yards, 8 TDs. (side note: Lelie - 8 for 262, 2 TDs. This was the game that ended BYU's undefeated season and "claim" to a BCS berth.)

So by my count, while the most prolific passer in Division I history sat on the pine, his back-up threw for 1548 and 20 TDs in 3 games. That's 10% of the record! Absolutely ridiculous, and nobody remembers it because the games happened at 3 AM EST. I believe Rolovich even had a cup of coffee in the NFL with the Broncos, which strangely enough, is the same fate Lelie may experience if he doesn't start producing soon.

3. Man it's nice to have college basketball back. Arizona should be disappointing me in no time. That being said, it sure beats the NBA alternative. It's like Bobby Knight said, "If the NBA were on Channel 3, and two frogs making love were on Channel 4, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy."

2. I noticed you guys haven't begun the "This is the year for the Mavericks" campaign yet, which tells me one thing: you must really believe they have a chance, and you've got that unwritten no-hitter rule going where you don't want to talk about it and jinx it. It's interesting to see that they are in fact playing D, and Dirk seems to have made the leap. But then again, we're only 10 games in, and if you use that as your sample size, then Jesus Shuttlesworth and Seattle will be your next NBA champs.

1. Will the Red Sox winning the World Series be the kiss of death for the Sports Guy? Is anyone going to want to read 8,000 words about Johny Damon's impact on Simmon's 70-year old mother when the Sox are just another team? The guy loves the Sox and Patriots. Tough life.

Today's Negative Random Thoughts

Since I am not very creative, I have decided to play "devil's advocate" to JC's "Today's random thoughts."

1. TO represents everything wrong with sports today. The Eagles better keep winning, because once they start losing it is only a matter of time before TO starts to question McNabb's sexuality.

2. The only reason John Madden makes me laugh is because I know when he starts rambling that he is going to say something that makes little to no sense. There were two people in the stadium, Troy Aikman and Darryl Johnston, that I would have rather have doing the MNF analysis.

3. Whatever the matchups are in the BCS, I feel sorry for the team that has to play OU or Auburn after they get shut out of the national championship.

4. No argument here, this is the best NHL season in a long time.

5. The Nuggets, and Melo's, struggles are due to the injury bug catching them early this year. Injuries to Nene and Marcus Camby has taken away the Nuggets low post defense. Without that defense the Nuggs can't rebound and can't get into their transaction game that made them so successful last season. And Melo shouldn't go with the fro, he needs to shave his head. It worked for MJ.

6. JC may have jumped the gun on saying that "Friday Night Lights" was in the top 4 sports movies of all time. Here are 4 sports movies better than "Friday Night Lights"; Hoosiers, Rocky, Bull Durahm, Caddyshack.

7. Yes, the book is better than the movie. Every book is better than the movie that is made out of it, the only advantage of a movie over a book is that a movie only takes up 2 hours of your time while a book requires knowing how to read.

8. It appears JC has trouble counting.

9. Soccer is the most popular sport in the world, it's only a matter of time that it catches on here in the states.....right?

10. Why doesn't baseball just give every award to Barry Bonds? That would speed up things.

11. Jason White winning two heisman awards says a few things. Bob stoops can coach and recruit.

12. It makes me laugh to know JC is in Utah.


Todays Random Thoughts

1. The more people hate Terrel Owens, the more I like him. The pregame was the funniest pregame IN THE HISTORY OF THE GAME. Also hes just damn good, even though he torched my beloved Boys last night, who consequently are the worst secondary of ALL TIME! *******

2. John Madden makes me laugh.

3. Is it just me, or is the prospect of having a Utah/Boston College Fiesta bowl the most exciting matchup since the inception of the BCS. At least put the Utes with Auburn or OU, whichever gets shut out of the BCS, to let them prove they belong with the big boys.

4. This is the best hockey season that I can remember in a long time.

5. Can Mello please take the ball to the rack, the face up jumper hes taking a foot inside the three point line is not helping his game. And while we're on the subject, he needs to pull out the old school fro, the braids are so 2002.

6. Friday Night Lights is in the top 4 sports movies ever made. Not a bad effort from Dexter Rutecki, it almost makes up for "The Great White Hype". Almost.

7. The book is even better. And yes, I actually read a book, first time in 5 years. Although this is not entirely true, its mostly true (I also read the 25 year history of Saturday Night Live). I'm not into John Grisham, so sue me.

9. For some odd reason, I find myself curiously interested about the upcoming MLS season.

10. Why does it take so long to come out with baseballs post season awards?

11. I'm not sure what it says about college football if Jason White wins two consecutive Heismans

12. Being in Utah during the BCS controversy, as well as a great start by the Utah Jazz has been a real treat......a real freaking treat.

**** The first thought it brought to you by ESPN, the best network in HISTORY.


Friday, November 12, 2004

The BCS is a Travashamockery

Just so happens that my derriere has been parked in Utah for the last month. Not a bad place to be in the midst of the BCS hubub. Utah fans here are looking for some hope that they will be selected as an at large team in this years BCS. Ofcourse they will have to first conquer mighty Wyoming (this is a good bet by they way +23, Cowboys have been great at home ATS), and thier rival BYU, but it ceritanly looks promising that they end up undefeated at seasons end.

This leaves several scenarios, all of which are interesting. If Utah is able to get into the the top 6 in the BCS, they are guaranteed a spot in the BCS. That is ofcourse if they are let out of thier contract with the Liberty Bowl. But this is where it starts to get hairy. As it stands right now, if all remains equal and everyone above them wins out, they will sit at 7th or 8th in the BCS. All signs indicate that they would be shut out of the BCS equation.

And while in years past, these things have had thier way of working out, it still doesn't prove there isn't a problem with the system. If Utah wins out and is shut out of the BCS in favor of Texas or Michigan, what message is that sending to the non BCS schools. The BCS has contended that everyone has a shot, but Utah has done everything asked of them, pummeling opponents from thier own conference as well as a ranked Texas A&M team, and the same North Carolina team that beat NFL Factory Miami. Yet, they are being abused by the system that claims that it is fair and inclusive.

I certianly won't contend that I think that Utah can keep up with the big boys of college football. They caught an aggie team that is about to lose 4 straight to close the season, including a loss to Baylor. North Carolina isn't exactly a football juggernaut, and damn near anyone can beat Miami with Berlin at the helm. Can Utah beat OU, USC, Auburn? No, they probably can not. They don't have the athletes to stick with them for 4 quarters. Can they hang with one loss Texas and Michigan with thier dominant rushing attacks and stout offensive lines? Not likely. They would probably stick in there for a while before getting crushed in the second half. But this is the fatal flaw with the BCS. They are not letting these teams settle it on the field.

Let's just suppose for a second that everyone in the BCS top 7 wins out. That would likely mean that OU and USC would meet for the title in the Orange Bowl. Auburn, who would have only run through college footballs most arduous conference, would be left to play in the Sugar Bowl. Undefeated Wisconsin would be playing Cal in the Rose Bowl. Texas would likely be the other at large pick, and could possibly play in the Sugar or Fiesta bowls. The Big East and ACC champs will take the other two spots, each of which may ride into the bowl season with two losses, and for the Big East champ, a sub 15 BCS rating. And this leaves Utah out at the Liberty Bowl to play Louisville to try and prove they belong with the big boys. Consequently we could end up with 4 undefeated teams at seasons end, all of whom played in a different bowl, all of whom won thier conferences, none of whom played each other.

Who says we need a playoff.


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